


Barely Breathing

by ShevineObsessed



Category: Adam Levine (Musician), Adam Levine x Blake Shelton - Fandom, Blake Shelton (Musician), Shevine - Fandom, bladam
Genre: Adam Levine x Blake Shelton, Adam x Blake, Adam/Blake - Freeform, Levine x Shelton, M/M, Shevine, bladam - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 20:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12967734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShevineObsessed/pseuds/ShevineObsessed
Summary: We all remember Adam's dramatic hair changes. One day he has it longer then it's cut short and then it's blonde. Now Adam has shaved his head. And he seems...different. Why did he shave his head? How will people react? More importantly, how will his best friend, Blake Shelton, react?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a short story with a few chapters. Hope you guys enjoy! :)

**AU without Behati or Miranda…i.e Adam and Blake are single**

 

 

Walking onto set for The Voice, Adam was nervous, terrified even. He clutched his messenger bag's strap tightly; his knuckles turned white and his face grew pale except for his burning red cheeks. With a big deep breath he stopped standing there like a lost idiot and walked into the building, heading straight for his trailer, not wanting to make any small talk. 

Of course people noticed, they noticed when he dyed his hair blond before too. Adam thought they would stare longer this time since no trace of hair was left on top of his head, but it seemed to get less attention than he had expected. People still pointed it out and made light-hearted jokes here or there but most just noticed at the absence of hair, smiled, and kept going on with their work. "Perhaps it was just a busy day today," Adam thought, "since it was the start of the Battle Rounds and four big name stars would be showing up to help with practice, everything had to be just right.  


Adam finally reached his trailer, but only after being teased lightly by Carson, Pharrell, and Gwen about how much he changes his hair. They called him names and compared his bald head to things like a bowling ball and mocked how the shiny reflection would blind them. Gwen even rubbed his head pretending it would give her good luck. Throughout the ordeal, Adam gave a fake smile and weak laugh.

"Hey are you okay man?" Pharrell questioned. "You look a little..." he trailed off with a wavering gesture of his hand. 

Trying to think of a believable excuse, Adam quickly replied, "Yeah, I'm fine, just a little drained. Up late last night playing games on my phone and stuff." He tried to give proper gestures at the end, like a light laugh and shrug of the shoulders to sound convincing.

"No, I get it. Late nights with my boys always leave me exhausted," Gwen commented while adjusting her outfit for the show. 

"Same here. You better get some coffee though. We haven't even started filming yet! And you know Blake is gunna have a field day with all 'this.' You better be ready," Pharrell chimed in, motioning towards his head when talking about 'this.' All of them chuckled and Carson offered to go get a coffee for Adam. He rejected the offer but made sure to show he appreciated it. He knew he needed some type of jumpstart however; because Pharrell was right, and he knew Blake wouldn't go easy on him.

Adam sighed in relief as he sat down in his trailer, finally alone. He put his head in his hands and took some deep breaths as nausea washed over him. There was a knock at his trailer door just as he felt like he was going to gag. "C-come in," he stammered and sat up straight. Blake walked in with his cup full of who-knows-what and laughed before even speaking. 

"Gwen told me you'd gone and shaved yer head but I surely didn't believe her!" Another laugh. "This is just great! What nonsense in your head made 'cha go and shave the hair off your hair!?" It was always harder to lie to Blake. After being friends for several seasons of the voice and multiple years, they both knew each other like the back of their hand. 

"Well, I—“ Adam struggled to speak as the nausea worsened quickly and he felt something traveling up his throat. Before Blake could finish asking if he was okay, Adam had vomited on the floor of his trailer. The nausea was gone and replaced with a wave of dizziness and blurry vision. Adam glanced in Blake’s direction, blinking away the dots and fogginess he was seeing and saw how shocked and worried Blake was. 

“S-sorry about that. I had a breakfast burrito this morning and I guess it didn’t agree with me.” Though he had not actually eaten anything this morning, it was the best excuse he had for Blake. 

“Been there, done that, buddy. I’ll call someone to come clean it up.” 

“No! I’ve got it. Everyone is busy setting up and making sure stuff is in order for the celebrity mentors. I’ll do it. I’ll clean it up, don’t worry.” Blake looked skeptical.

“Are you sure? You look like you still have a few more hurls in ya. You sure you don’t want someone to come and—“

“I’m sure. I appreciate the concern but I am fine.” Blake thought for a moment and contemplated staying to help but could tell Adam wanted his space. 

“Okay, but don’t think I’m done teasing ya!” With that, Blake left Adam’s trailer. Adam gripped his sides as he felt more coming up. He tried to stand to reach the bathroom but almost lost balance and fell in his own vomit. He sat back down, heaving like a cat trying to get a hairball up. Eventually, it came up, bringing Adam to his hands and knees as he added to the thick puddle already on the floor. While on all fours, Adam coughed up the remains and breathed heavily over his disgusting masterpiece. As he wiped his mouth in hopes to remove any evidence from his lips, he noticed the something red in the puddle and slowly removed his hand from his mouth to find blood smeared upon it. Shocked, Adam wiped his mouth with his sleeve and saw more blood. Adam stumbled over to the bathroom sink in the trailer and washed the blood off his hand and sleeve and watched it run down the drain in a daze. He bent over and held his head in his hands with his elbows still resting on the sink. He took a deep breath that resulted in a hacking cough. He remembered his pills in his bag and took the recommended amount in hopes he’d feel better. Adam slumped down to the ground and stared at the ceiling. All he wanted was to stay there and do nothing, but wardrobe knocked at his door and he knew he had to get up and be fitted for the taping. Feeling fatigued, Adam wearily stood up and almost opened the door until he saw the stained blood on his sleeve. 

“Just give me a few minutes!” he yelled. As fast as he could he tried to clean up his vomited mess on the floor and slipped on a new shirt and jeans. The roomed smelled awful so he sprayed some cheap air freshener from the bathroom and threw a bunch of clean paper towels in the trash to cover up the dirtied ones he had used to wipe up the vomit. Adam splashed some water on his face and moved a rug from the other side of the trailer to cover the damp spot where he vomited earlier. He swished some mouthwash in his mouth and looked himself over in the mirror. Adam started feeling a bit better, which he attributed to the pills, and he double-checked that the trailer looked decent. He opened the door, welcoming the wardrobe crew inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally, the taping for The Voice ended. All Adam could think about was going home and crawling into bed, but he had to stop somewhere first; he really dreaded going however, especially since it would be his first time going, and he’d be by himself. 

“HEY LEX LUTHER!” Blake practically shouted as he threw open Adam’s trailer door. Adam wasn’t surprised and just continued packing up his things to leave. 

“That joke’s getting a little old now Shelton,” Adam genuinely laughed. He’d told it several times during the taping today and many others too, some even Adam had to laugh at. Blake chuckled and flopped down on Adam’s couch, sipping some drink in a plain old red solo cup. Probably iced tea, seeing as how that was the only thing Blake drank besides alcohol or coffee. Adam zipped up his bag and turned to his mini fridge to grab some water.

“Aww come on Vin Diesel, where are you headed in such a hurry?” Adam opened his water bottle and took a sip with a smile stretched across his face. As he put his drink in his bag he retorted, “Some people have places to go and things to do besides annoy others and drink beer.” Adam laughed lightly and moved towards the door. 

“Hey, this is iced tea, and I came here for more than just annoying you. Maybe I wanted to actually talk to you.” Blake came up behind Adam and tried to wrap his arms around him and kiss him on the cheek. Adam quickly pushed his overly flirtatious friend away and wiped where he had kissed him. “Maybe I wanted a bootycall,” Blake stated with an accompanying laugh. 

“Ha ha ha…I’m not in the mood today, Blake, now get outta my trailer, lover boy,” Adam responded, gesturing to the door he was holding open. Blake made another comedic comment but Adam paid it no mind and shut the door behind him, then headed to his car. 

Before Adam could drive away, he had to take a few deep breaths. He vision was a tad blurry and he felt suddenly fatigued. Adam took a few sips of water before buckling his seat belt and switching on the radio. He didn’t care what played; he just needed something to consume his thoughts so he could stop worrying so much. As he started to pull away from the set, Adam caught a glimpse of Blake laughing with the cast and crew from the show. Blake caught Adam’s gaze and raised his cup towards him and made a “kissy” face at him. It made Adam smile and stick out his tongue as he held up his middle finger in response as he drove away. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam arrived at his destination about a half an hour after leaving the set. He stepped out of his car, shoved his headphones and phone in the pockets of his hoodie and looked up at the building. Anthony Sherman Treatment Center. Adam sighed and pulled his hood up and hung his head low as he walked inside. He walked up to the receptionist who had him sit down for about fifteen minutes before someone came to walk lead him to dialysis unit. They sat him down and spoke to him about the treatment. Adam heard bits and pieces but more than anything he was nervous because he had heard that this could hurt. This was his first time getting this dialysis treatment. After being diagnosed, he had gone through a few rounds of chemo-radiation, but never dialysis. The doctor who had led Adam to the machine beside the chair smiled weakly at him as he placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Are you okay, Mr. Levine? Did you hear what I said?” the doctor asked. Adam shook his head to break himself out of his daze and then nodded, giving the doctor a weak, “Yeah,” in response. The doctor flagged a nurse over and introduced him. “This is our nurse Braden. He is going to get you all hooked up and check up on you every now and then.” The doctor told Braden who Adam was and a little about his condition before wandering off to a different wing of the center. Braden spoke softly to Adam, telling him a little about himself as he prepared to hook Adam up to the machine. He flinched as Braden inserted the needles into his arms. The machine was switched on and the treatment began. Mostly, it didn’t feel too painful, just very uncomfortable. Adam also felt tension in his abdomen as he sat there with the needles in his arms. 

Adam looked around the room, appreciating the fact that he was lucky enough to receive this treatment in a room by himself. There was no doubt that it was because of his status and money, but it still felt nice that he was safely tucked away in the wing of this center by himself, away from nosy paparazzi. Though, as he looked out the far off window, Adam felt a wave of loneliness. Although he didn’t want to worry anyone like his friends and family and he didn’t want his diagnosis all over the tabloids, he secretly longed for someone to know so he wouldn’t feel alone. 

Adam pulled his phone and headphones free from his pockets with his free arm. He placed the headphones in his ears and plugged them into his phone, turning on whatever playlist his saw first on Spotify. He turned the music up as high as he could without it hurting his ears and tugged on his hood as he leaned back in the chair.


	3. Chapter 3

The next several weeks went by slowly. Adam went to set like normal and acted like everything was normal. Since his first dialysis appointment, Adam had a couple more treatments, as well as two chemo-radiation treatments, and surprisingly, he actually felt better. His appetite had even started coming back and now, instead of skipping almost all his meals like he had before, he started eating one regular sized meal, plus a couple small snacks here and there. 

Despite feeling better and putting on a smiling face as he slowly started to come back to normal with his daily life, Blake could tell everything wasn’t all “fine and dandy” in Adam’s life. Blake had first brought it up when he saw Adam leaving right after filming for the episode. Adam had stepped out of his trailer with his head down, not noticing the shadowy figure nearby. As Adam started to walk away towards the parking lot, he ran into Blake. Adam jumped back, apologizing to whomever he had run into. Once he looked up to find it was Blake he made an irritated face and pushed Blake out of the way. “I don’t have time for this today, Blake,” Adam said harshly, walking past him. Blake grabbed Adam’s wrist and swung him around to face him. 

“Where have you been running off to so often these days? Every time the recordings for the show ends you hurry out of here like there’s some fire or somethin’. What’s going on?” Blake asked curiously. His face was stern and his eyes seemed to be searching Adam’s. It made Adam feel guilty for looking away and trying to pull away.  
Adam weakly smiled at the ground and unconvincingly replied, “What are you talking about? Nothing going on…I just have things that I have to take care of. Can you let go of me now please?” Adam kept trying to release himself from Blake’s strong grip. 

“I will if you look at me.” Taken aback, Adam slowly looked up at him and met Blake’s eyes. For half a second it felt like Blake was trying to communicate with Adam through the gaze. Adam began to feel uncomfortable and reminded Blake of what he had just promised.

“Come on y-you said if I looked at you, you’d let me go. So…l-let go already,” Adam said. Blake kept the gaze for a few more seconds before finally letting go.

“I’m just worried about you. I mean look at you,” Blake said as he gestured to Adam’s body. “You’ve lost a ton of weight, you barely eat anything, and every day you rush out of here avoiding everyone.” Adam looked away, searching floor with his eyes. 

“I-I..I just…I,” Adam stammered.

“You can’t even look at me.” Adam kept looking at the ground, avoiding the country man’s eyes who were fixed on him. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head with his fist clenched around his bag’s straps. 

“I just can’t! I’m sorry!” Adam blurted out before hurrying off the set and into his car. Adam swiftly threw his bag in his passenger seat and drove off set. Before he knew it he was at the treatment center get another round of chemo-radiation.

Today’s treatment seemed to go by faster than usual for Adam, probably due to the swarming thoughts in his head. Adam took his time driving back home. When he finally got home, he pulled into the driveway and sat in his car staring at his lap. The millions of emotions he had been bolding in for the past few weeks began hit him all at once. One after another, tears started to run down his cheeks. Adam sat there silently crying with his face in his hands for a minute or two before deciding to get himself together to go inside. Before he could wipe the tears from his face a loud banging noise came from the driver’s side of the car making Adam jump and turn to see a large man looking in the car. Adam rolled the window down, surprised to see Blake outside his car. 

“W-what are you doing here?” Adam asked.

“I followed you after you left the set. You have some explaining to do."


	4. Chapter 4

“I followed you after you left the set. You have some explaining to do,” Blake said in a low husky voice as he opened Adam’s car door. Adam rolled the window up and turned the car off, his heart pounding in his chest so hard he thought he could hear it. Adam stepped out of the car and followed Blake to his front door. Blake dug in the potted plant out front and pulled out a key to unlock the door. Once inside, they both stood silently. Bones and Charlie came running towards the two men, panting and barking for attention. Adam smiled and pet them both on their heads. 

“I should probably feed them. Umm…why don’t you just sit on the couch or something?” Adam spoke softly as he let Charlie lick his hand. Slowly Adam led his dogs to the kitchen and filled a bowl for each of them. They both began to devour their food and Adam washed his hands before returning to Blake, who was still standing where Adam had left him. 

Silence filled the room again as they both just stood there. 

“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” Blake finally asked.

“Say anything about what?” Adam replied playing dumb. He wasn’t sure how much Blake knew so he figured he should play dumb until Blake explained all that he knew. 

“Oh stop acting to dumb, Adam! I followed you! I saw you go into that treatment center. That Sherman Anthony place. What’s going on? Are you sick? Is someone you know sick?” Adam’s heart pounded harder in his chest and he avoided eye contact again. “Why can’t you just talk to me?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just…I—” Adam began but was cut off.

“And why the hell can’t you look at me? I just want to know that you’re okay but you keep avoiding me and my questions and then you stand here trying to lie to me and play dumb. Something is obviously wrong; I can look at you and tell. You’ve lost weight and you don’t act the same and you were obviously just crying in your car! Why can’t you just let me help you or at least know what’s going? I don’t get it! I’m just trying to help, why can’t you—” Blake rambled but was cut off too. 

“I have cancer!” Adam blurted out, fists tight by his side and tears starting to flood his eyes. “Ok? Now you fucking know. I fucking have cancer, so excuse me for not wanting to tell a bunch of people.” Adam was afraid to look at Blake but he did anyway. Blake’s mouth was slightly ajar and his entire face expressed his surprise. 

“Listen, I…I didn’t think…I mean…I…” Blake was speechless. He stepped towards Adam and rested his hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “Lets sit down.” Blake led Adam to the couch and sat him down beside him. “Shit man, why didn’t you say something sooner?” Adam wiped the tears from his face and shook his head.

“I don’t know.” After a slight pause, Adam continued. “I just didn’t want everyone to worry or feel like they had to be careful around me or feel bad for me. I didn’t want the whole world to know and start throwing a bunch of rumors around about my condition. I wanted to handle it on my own but now…now I just feel so fucking alone and I can’t handle it by myself. The pain and all treatments is too much for me and more than anything I…I’m just so scared that I’m going to die. I’m not ready, Blake, and I’m so terrified. I just…I can’t do it anymore,” Adam sobbed. He leaned forward and placed his face in his hands and let the tears slip through. Blake rested a hand on Adam’s back. 

“How bad is it?” he asked.

“Stage three.” Neither of them spoke for a moment, but after a while Adam figured he might as well tell him everything. “It’s stomach cancer. That’s why I’ve lost all this weight and can’t kept things down when I do eat. I get random spouts of nausea and dizziness and I’ve even puked up blood now and then.” Adam laughed darkly as he continued, explaining, “Hell, its even messed up my kidneys so now I have to do dialysis.”

“Well…what do the doctors think about all of it? I mean do they think the condition is really bad? Can’t they fix it with some chemo? I’ve never dealt with shit like this before.” Blake asked.

“They’ve been putting me through chemo-radiation and having me take these pills for chemotherapy to try and shrink the tumors so they can remove them with surgery, but they’re worried I might be to far along for surgery to really help. Plus with my weight and overall weakness, they aren’t sure if they even want to put me under to do the surgery because it might be more dangerous,” Adam explained. He started crying again, and told Blake, “I’m just scared, Blake. I’m so fucking scared…”  
Blake wrapped an arm around Adam’s shoulders and pulled him close. Adam sobbed into his shirt, drenching it with tears. For a long time, they just sat there together on the couch, embracing as Blake held Adam. After sometime, Adam’s cries started to settle and Blake, looked down to see he was asleep. He gently adjusted Adam’s head and body so that his head was resting in Blake’s lap. Blake put his feet up on the coffee table and leaned back in the couch. He tenderly stroked his best friend’s head as he sat with him in silence. Blake glanced over at Bones and Charlie who were stretched out on the wooden floor. All of this information had hit him hard and he was trying to process it all. Blake rested his head against the wall behind the couch and closed his eyes. Soon he was asleep too.


	5. Chapter 5

When Blake woke up, he saw Adam was still asleep in his lap. It didn’t look like he had moved much but he looked like he was getting some much needed rest. Blake slowly lifted Adam’s head off his lap and slipped away to the bathroom, still silently processing the news he a learned last night. Luckily, today was Saturday, so neither of them needed to be at the set to film. 

Adam was missing from the couch when Blake came back to the room. A bit nervous, Blake called out for him and walked to the kitchen to find Adam with his dogs by their bowls. 

“Hey…I ugh, was just giving them some water.” Bones barked loudly. “And some love,” Adam chuckled, petting Bones on the head. Adam looked up at Blake, feeling relieved that now someone knew his secret. “Did you want something to eat? I-I can make something.”

“Sure.” The atmosphere of the room was a bit awkward but both we both were happy to be together. Adam was happy that someone was with him and he was no longer alone. Blake was just happy he could be there for Adam and comfort him. 

“Cool, just let me get a shower and brush my teeth. You can get one too if you want. You already know where everything is, but let me show you where I keep some extra toiletries for guests.” Adam led Blake to the upstairs guest bathroom and showed him where the toothbrushes and supplies for a shower were. Then he wandered off to his own bathroom to take his shower. Both men showered and brushed their teeth and got ready for the day. Blake was about to put his clothes on when he saw how dirty his shirt was. His shirt was a bit messed up from Adam’s sobbing because it was covered in his tears and some of his mucus from the runny nose he got as he cried. Blake put on he jeans from yesterday but decided to go commando instead of putting on used underwear. Blake dropped his towel in a basket in the bathroom and then carried his shirt to Adam’s room. Blake heard Adam turn the water off so he helped himself to Adam’s closet to try and find a shirt. 

Blake finally found an oversized flannel shirt that fit him. It was just a tad snug, but it worked and knowing his friend Adam, he knew he probably wouldn’t find much else that would fit him. It probably would have been too big on Adam so Blake figured he wouldn’t mind. Just as he finished the last few buttons, Blake heard the bathroom door open. Blake stepped out of Adam’s walk in closet and began to announce, “I hope you don’t mind that I kinda just helped myself to your closet. It’s just that my shirt was kinda gross from last night when you—” Blake stopped in his tracks when he looked up to see Adam. Adam had a towel wrapped around his hips and was obviously a bit damp from a lazy job of drying off. It was also obvious that Adam had lost at least 15 to 20 lbs. Adam froze in his path too, embarrassed that Blake was seeing him at such a weight. Adam tried to cover his body with his arms and started to back into the bathroom but Blake rushed over to stop him. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. You didn’t choose for this to happen. And plus you still look good,” Blake chuckled at the end. “Nothing can make a rockstar like Adam Levine look bad.” Adam laughed too. They looked at each other for a second before Adam started to pull himself out of Blake’s grasp. Blake quickly let go when he realized he had been holding Adam so close to him. “I’ll, umm…head downstairs and wait for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it so far! Thanks for reading :)


End file.
